As we settle into the comfort of familiar academic routine, we resume the everlasting debate of which consortium dining hall reigns supreme. After approximately one month of listening to conflicting and inconsistent opinions, I have decided to embark on the quest of settling this persistent culinary squabble. After much contemplation, I concluded that the only proper way to begin would be with a consortium-wide cookie evaluation. I sought companions who would supplement my assessment, finally gathering a crew that included students that encompassed all levels of culinary training and cookie preference, ranging from a cookie appreciator to a student who had attended 4 years of culinary school. Without further ado, here are my findings – do with them what you will:
Coconut Cookie from Collins (cookie alliteration!) consumed at 5:45pm:
This cookie exceeded expectations on every front; its initial appearance of thinness and lack of pliability promoted initial unease, but the chocolate chips were gooey and the coconut nicely fortified its flavor. Even the self-proclaimed coconut-disliker of the group enjoyed its consumption.
Chocolate Chip Cookie from Collins (even more cookie alliteration?!) consumed at 5:50pm:
This was a divisive one: those who enjoy some crunch would enjoy chomping into this cookie, but others may be confused by the dichotomy within the presence of both significant chocolate gooiness and a tougher texture. Your enjoyment of CMC’s chocolate chip is entirely dependent upon what you’re looking for in your dessert experience: do you like a bit of a tussle when munching on a treat? If so, this may be the cookie for you.
We also sampled some freshly baked cookies, and though they were inconsistent within their size, they maintained their chewiness and abundant chocolatey goo.
*Fresh* Chocolate Chip from Hoch-Shanahan consumed at 6:00pm
Say what you will about Mudd, but their cookie system is exceptional. They are consistently dishing up freshly baked cookies straight from the oven that maintain a crispness and firmness along their outer rim while simultaneously incorporating that essential gooiness that creates a great chocolate chip cookie. Though they have a slightly chalky aftertaste and their less fresh counterparts attain a store-bought quality with age, a fresh Mudd cookie is not to be missed. Sidenote: these cookies would pair excellently with milk.
M&M Cookie from McConnell consumed at 6:15pm:
This cookie embodies an admirable level of reliability- what you see is what you get. The M&Ms were nicely spaced and there was a proper level of crunchiness within the texture; I was content while consuming this cookie.
Chocolate Chip Cookie from McConnell consumed at 6:10pm:
The slightly crisp exterior of this cookie gave way to a surprisingly soft center, and its good salt content and pliability kept me invested in its experience. It embodies the many dualities that are important in the construction of a tasty cookie.
Peanut Butter Cookie from Frary consumed at 6:35pm:
When we entered Frary, what initially seemed to be three full plates of a plentiful array of cookies was revealed to be composed of homogeneous peanut butter cookies. Though their size was promising, their texture resembled that of play dough and the presence of peanut flavor was limited to their lengthy aftertaste. They garnered the emotional invocation of a light shrug.
Lemon Cooler Cookie from Frank consumed at 6:20pm:
These cookies were radiant. They were the result of the epitome of proper baking technique, with a crisp outside fading into a tender center. Upon their initial division, a burst of lemon smell was released (a mere taste of what was to come), and they proved to embody a lemoniness that was both subtle and distinct, fortified by white chocolate chips and zest that rounded out its flavor profile. This was a truly exceptional cookie, a lemony light that shone above the rest. These cookies didn’t rely on warmth or freshness to appeal to their consumers: their virtue was solely based on deliciousness.
Oatmeal Cranberry Cookies from Frank consumed at 6:25pm:
Frank demonstrated exceptional baking technique yet again, exhibiting a cookie with a light, soft center surrounded by a crisp border. The cranberries punctuated the oatmeal like rubies amidst a wall of igneous rock, with a slightly cinnamony aftertaste that left me wanting more.
I cannot tell if the lengthy trek to South Pomona ramped up my appetite, but Frank’s cookies were truly phenomenal.
I regret to report that Oldenborg was cookie-less on the days that I attempted to evaluate the cookie situation. Had they anticipated a scathing review and intentionally hidden the cookies upon my entrance into the dining hall? That’s for you to decide.
*Disclaimer* : though I am still awaiting comment from Malott staff, I have heard from multiple sources that the oven that previously produced Scripps’ cookies has been reappropriated to cook food for the Simple Servings section of Malott, resulting in a tangible lack of fresh cookies.
Sugar Cookie from Malott consumed at 5:45pm:
This cookie was disconcerting in its texture, flavor, and even its classification. This was a sugar cookie attempting in earnest to become a snickerdoodle, but falling dismally short. It invoked emotions of confusion and despondence, best described via this emoticon: ;(
Chocolate Chip Cookie from Malott consumed at 5:50pm:
Again, this cookie’s lack of freshness lead to its downfall. Its density and dryness invoked a store-bought feel- they approached Famous Amos territory.
Double Chocolate Cookie from Malott consumed at 6:00pm:
Despite its toughness, this cookie’s flavor profile was impeccable. Though it was not freshly baked, it was the perfect amount of chocolatey, gooey, and rich, and its utilization of both dark and white chocolate tricks its consumer into a perception of natural gooiness that evades the store-bought quality that plagued Malott’s other cookies. If you go to Malott, this is the cookie you should select.
My Cookie Ranking:
- Lemon Cooler Cookie from Frank
- *Fresh* Chocolate Chip from Hoch-Shanahan
- Oatmeal Cranberry Cookie from Frank
Image Credit: How-to Geek