Health & Lifestyle

Ask Lue: February 8, 2019

Hello and welcome to a new semester, my dear Scrippsies! I, personally, am excited to be answering more of your questions! On that note, I have a fun and important update for y’all:The way to submit questions has gotten easier! You can now submit all questions on the new Ask Lue website: asklue.squarespace.com

Dear Lue, Do sex toy shops really exist for female pleasure?
-traumatized at the Toy Box

Hey Toy Traumatized!

A sex toy shop exists to sell products related to sexual and erotic entertainment. The type of sex shop varies drastically depending on factors such as their owners, the shops personal brand, and whether or not they have a certain message they would like to put out into the world. Some of them actively try to promote body positivity, sexuality and pleasure for people with vaginas, and sexual liberation. Others can feel as though you are entering a den of objects and packaging clearly designed for one type of person’s gaze only. However, the bottom line is, most, if not all, sex toy shops will sell items that will give both people with vaginas, and people with penises pleasure.

Dear Lue,How should you go about letting your date/potential partner know that you are a virgin and want to wait to have sex?
-I’m a virgo so he should already know

Hey Virgo,
In the early stages of seeing each other and going on dates, there will come a time when you two will discuss expectations moving forward. I think it is an important conversation to have as soon as you reach that point where you realize that you are interested in this person and you might like to continue this relationship. It can be a significant indicator of whether or not your needs will be met respectfully by this person not just for this scenario, but many others that come along with being in a relationship. I would suggest having the conversation before any sort of experience where you feel it might go further, such as a make-out session. This just makes it more easeful for you to have that experience while feeling confident that you have had your needs seen and know that they will be met. I would be very straightforward and honest about it as well; you can mention that you like them, you find them interesting, but before anything more happens you would just like to share that you would want to wait a while longer before having sex. That is truly all you need to say; a decent person who will respect you and your autonomy would respect those wishes. However, if you would like to include more details, feel free to express your personal reasons for that decision. Your partner might ask some questions, and feel free to answer them as long as it feels comfortable for you. If your partner starts saying things in a tone that feels dismissive or icky, tries to argue with you about your reasonings in a pushy way, makes you feel even slightly wrong about what you have expressed then that is a red flag, love (trust what your gut is telling you)! However, if you feel as though the questions are coming from a genuine place, an interest in you, or trying to engage you in a pressure-free conversation about what your boundaries are so they know what you are comfortable with, I encourage you to engage in that communication. As always the more the better. Good luck from your friendly neighborhood Leo!

Luena Maillard is a junior at Scripps who is passionate about holistic health and education. In high school, she was employed by Planned Parenthood as a Peer Health Educator to teach sex ed classes to high school health classes. She is currently working as a Peer Health Educator here on campus, and you can find her during her office hours at Tiernan Field House for one-on-one conversations!

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