Ellen Wang ’25 and Belén Yudess ’25
Editor-in-Chief and Copy Editor
Queerbaiter-in-Chief and Baited Editor
It has recently come to our attention that teamcestuous relationships are occurring within the editorial team at The Scripps Voice. Before this episode of fraternization causes anyone to allege we engage in “hit pieces,” we promise there will be no more hitting that piece.
We, as the sole seniors on editorial, are stunned by this development and saddened by these individuals’ decision to hide the true nature of their relationship from the rest of our staff. We see it as our duty to model how our newsroom operates at its best.
[Disclaimer: We were only informed of this development following an awkward and unfortunate run in the corridor where our new editions are stored. Let’s just say the papers weren’t the only thing hot off the presses that morning.]
The Voice upholds a high standard of professionalism, in line with our mission of catering to the girls and gays empowering marginalized perspectives. As journalists, we take conflicts of interest seriously, especially when power differentials are at play… especially if the power differential becomes a sex thing.
This development has seriously disturbed our team’s workflow — how is anyone supposed to focus when certain staff members are creating cutouts in Adobe Indesign of certain members? And the tension of editing on the same Google Document just got magnified exponentially. Our cursors are so close…
Due to recent events, we have decided to implement several new policies at TSV to ensure workplace boundaries are respected while still prioritizing freedom of expression. We would never censor our staff — there’s no such thing as “not safe for TSV.” And rest assured that the freedom of [REDACTED].
To maintain a horizontal organizational structure, every editorial team member is contractually obligated to be a card-holding member of the Official TSV Polycule (Local 91). Union dues simply go toward getting paid and getting laid. Just as before, new members are welcome anytime. We don’t bite… unless you want us to. Hey! What are you looking at? That’s just ink from our print issues.
All members of the TSV Polycule are guaranteed health insurance, oral, travel reimbursement, and a half-motherly, half-flirty “good job” from Ellen per issue (I’m just as confused as you are). If you’ve been really good, you might even get some sustained eye contact between rounds of edits.
It has been disheartening to attend production meetings while some postmodern, sixth-dimension, nonverbal, nonphysical foreplay was taking place without the consent of all parties in the room. We are not good enough at social cues to evaluate whether that “Editor-in-Chief” was said with deferring respect or deferring sexual energy… it’s doing it for me either way. Thus, we want to affirm that, yes, kink belongs in production, and no one finishes until we all collectively finish (sending the issue to print).
We’re happy to report that the staff has taken well so far to the new changes. “Getting frisky with it” is up 4000 percent in the production room, and we’ve learned that a certain someone is really into the newspaper.
Like any other part of Scripps College, TSV is committed to community care. With four years of TSV experience under our belts (literally and figuratively), we understand that active and enthusiastic communication is key. Navigating polycule relationships is difficult, and we take a card from Scripps administrators’ book when we facilitate restorative dialogue, holding each other accountable and discussing who is not giving what they need to be giving.
The best part of working for a publication is connecting to our audience. You, too, are welcome to feel the thrill of being a reader/consumer/voyeur of our fantastic team bonds as you finger through the newsprint pages.
After the arduous hours of painstaking editing, each issue truly feels like a love child brought forth by our staff. But if anyone asks, just tell them a stork brings each edition of TSV — you’ll have to join the polycule to learn more.
Photo Courtesy: Ellen Wang ’25
