Clara Ann Bagnoli ‘28
Design Editor
After a long day of classes, there is only one place I can go to settle my mind and know that I will find at least one of my many close friends: Seal Court. I walk my Doc Martens-clad feet over Jaqua, down the steps, and past the first few tables of the poor Scripps students who actually have homework.
Finally, I spot my target, the beautiful icon I am honored to call my best friend. Her honey blonde locks are gently flowing in the breeze and her outfit is perfect: thrifted baggy jeans that hug her body just right and a cropped baby tee with a phrase only someone with 20-plus hours of screen time a day could understand. But do not fret, despite my adoration, we are just friends, platonic soulmates who met in our NSPO group a mere six months ago.
She sees me and we lock matching hazel orbs. I take three steps and begin to float over into those outstretched arms. Our bodies mesh together and become intertwined like two puzzle pieces creating a masterpiece. We stay like this for at least 100 seconds of pure bliss; she is wearing Glossier perfume and I can almost taste it on her skin.
A public display of affection (PDA) like this happens about every four seconds at Scripps College. To a Scrippsie, it is a traditional greeting of our people. This tradition begins on move-in day when extroverts try to assert their superiority and social dominance but then continue to create a harmonious homosocial ecosystem that thrives off physical touch and open intimacy.
In retrospect, our touchiness makes perfect sense to me. As a person who has been openly queer for most of my teenage years, I have always been overly, or maybe appropriately, cautious to not make my straight female friends uncomfortable with any unwanted touch. Especially with the lingering stereotypical assumption that as the only out person in the friend group, I must be in love with at least one of my attractive peers.
Straight girls can make out with each other when drunk and it’s “haha omg so funny” but if I put my arm around someone while walking, it’s seen as making a move … tale as old as time.
Alas, coming to Scripps College, aka lesbos island has turned this internalized homophobia on its head. Here, I can hold hands with my close friends, tell a girl how cute I think their outfit is, and even give someone a forehead kiss goodbye and finally have it perceived as normal and even, nice.
But let us as a community take this normalization of touch to the next level. There is a common misconception that a platonic relationship is the opposite of a romantic relationship. A platonic relationship can therefore be intimate and affectionate but not sexual. Romantic refers to strong emotional connections, deep feelings of affection, and a desire to spend time together and build a life together.
Where is the third option? Not all friendships are non-sexual and not all romantic relationships are sexual. I came to college for my degree, but equally as important, I chose this place to explore my sexuality. We are so blessed to be surrounded by literal 10s across the board so is it wrong for me to want to kiss them all? Is friendship not just extended foreplay with nothing following?
Or could there be something more private following the PDA? Not to say I am endorsing ethical non-monogamy or anything, do what you are comfortable with when it comes to your partners, but when it comes to your friends, why not take a note from me in third grade and practice kissing with your bestie?
Next time you see a friend come out of their dorm, instead of going for the normal elongated hug, I offer you a few suggestions to help strengthen your relationship and spark some dopamine! An old-fashioned French kiss with a bit of tongue sucking to keep things playful perhaps? Or why don’t you try braiding her hair into a crown because, after all, she is your queen? Or if she’s being granola that day and wearing her Chacos, interlock your toes and walk together to lunch.
These are just a few things that have benefited my own relationships but of course, everything is based on personal experience and trial runs.
In all sincerity, I must conclude by highlighting that consent is key to any relationship even if it is non-physical. Therefore, make sure all yeses are freely given, enthusiastic, and always reversible.
Have a great time exploring friendship, you freaks!
