Belén Yudess ’25
Copy Editor
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Ever wonder what happens when you mix Cheerios, peanut butter, strawberries, and M&Ms together in chocolate ice cream and then freeze it overnight? Well Virgo, the moment of truth has arrived! When you find yourself at McConnell for the first time, grab a to-go box, collect these ingredients, and whip up this tasty little treat for a midnight snack.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Wondering where you’ll get your coffee or tea fix before #motrot season? This is your time, Libra, to explore all the yummy nooks and caffeine crannies Claremont has to offer! But, it’s vital to try them all in one day. Nothing gets the juices flowing like 12 shots of espresso with 7 pumps of sugar within the span of an hour.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Nervous about making new friends, sweet Scorpio? Of finding your people on campus? Here’s a foolproof way to navigate this anxiety: join Cheese Club! There is no ‘cheddar’ combination than bonding over scrumptious new cheeses and squirrels in the presence of gouda company! And rest assured, the cheese club has the absolute brie-st!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
As you begin to sift through potential classes, Sagittarius, it’s key to prioritize one thing above all else: pizzazz. Forgo G.E.’s or probable major classes in favor of course titles with cool names. Think about it, would you rather knock out your natural science requirement with BIO043 or take ‘the [boy]genius of girl math’ for the hell of it?!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Trying to decide what kind of hippity hop backpack to use this year, Capricorn? Well, look no further than the totally original, lime green Trader Joe’s tote bag. Don’t know the one? Can’t blame you, it’s not like every past, present, or future Scrippsie owns one or something! But if you do manage to get your hands on the bag (literally), you’ll be so chic and unique!
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
At some point in the semester, Aquarius, most likely after seeing a floofy little corgi waddling around, the thought will enter your head to adopt an ESA. Don’t second guess these instincts. Support your local street cats and take a chance on the wide-eyed possum that frequents the Froutt courtyard! They have cute baby hands – absolutely irresistible!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Considering applying for an on-campus job, Pisces, but are unsure what kind of position would suit you best? Look no further than the one job we have yet to see on campus: playing our beloved and totally well-known mascot, La Semeuse! Spend your days and Scripps’ money throwing around seeds and spreading good old-fashioned cheer and confusion.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You’ve made it to your college years, dear Aries, and that calls for one thing and one thing only: collage making! If you were to replace the first ‘e’ in Scripps College with an ‘a’ you would have Scripps Collage – trippy right?! Tap into your creative side and start cutting up your newly acquired syllabi to make rad collages to commemorate this new beginning.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus, I’m about to fill you in on a little secret: how to best Core I. The answer is core. Every time you find yourself with a case of writer’s block, do 100 sit-ups. Whenever you start dozing off in class, drop and crank out 74 crunches. You’ll be so pumped on adrenaline that you’ll sail through Core I like a champ and walk into Core II a fighting machine!
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
As you continue to decorate your dorm room, it’s time to make the best investment of your life: a sarcastic laundry basket. Add a little razzle-dazzle to this typically dreaded task by sporting a linen beige hamper that reads: the laun is dry, well duh, we’re in a drought. This is a great way to brighten up your laundry day, Gemini, and spread environmental awareness in the dorms.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, as you approach attending a fan-favorite first-year tradition, Matriculation, it’s important to start asking yourself a critical question: will you be trying Scripps’ scrumptious bread pudding? The answer, sweet reader, is yes, absolutely yes. This delightful delicacy is only served ever so often, so savor this rare opportunity and every warm, gooey bite.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Overwhelmed by the plethora of club opportunities on campus? Have no fear, brave Leo, for the best thing to do in times of paralyzing decision-making is to simply do it all. Sign up for every club’s emailing list whether it interests you or not; what’s an extra one or 50 more to the hundreds of emails already flooding your inbox?
