Belén Yudess ’25
Copy Editor
For about a week after moving in for my first year in August 2021, I thought McConnell (Pitzer’s dining hall) was Roberts Pavilion (CMC’s gym). Google Maps did me so dirty. I remember running around more frenzied than a Scripps squirrel trying to find the real Roberts the day I met with the head track coach about joining the team (as a thrower, not a runner).
As I sprinted down the CMC hill with a half-open backpack, semi-tied shoes, and a sense of dread about asking someone with a clue for directions, it hit me how lost I truly felt. Literally and figuratively. I was in way over my head. If I couldn’t even tell the difference between a gym and a dining hall, let alone one campus from the other, how was I supposed to navigate the impending adulthood and independence college offered?
But I did eventually stumble my way through the plexi-glass galore that is Roberts Pavilion. After several wrong misdirects and a really sweet interaction with a head coach who told me to turn right at the end of the hall, I shuffled my way into Coach Glenn Stewart’s cubicle. And I even managed to find my way back to GJW by myself after the meeting. One small step for my first-year confidence, one giant leap in revealing how directionally challenged I would remain for months to come.
Three years later, I have made the trek from GJW and Froutt to Roberts more times than I can count. I have walked down there at 5:30 on Friday nights ready to work volleyball games with co-workers who never fail to make me laugh. I’ve flown down the CMC hill on my Tiernan green bike at 11 p.m. to sit on the terrace steps with a friend who taught me there are just some moments you’ll remember forever for their simplicity. Most recently, I’ve begun driving down the block and parking behind Roberts for practice and track meets with teammates who are the epitome of joy and acceptance.
College is filled with moments like this. Moments of helplessness and confusion that are followed by teachable, nostalgic, or sometimes life-changing experiences. Embrace that. It is okay to not have it all figured out. It is okay to take a left instead of a right. It is okay to be and feel lost. Sometimes it is hard not to be overwhelmed by the promise that college is supposed to be the “best four years of your life.” What does that even mean?! It can be so easy to get swept up in trying to live other people’s – whether that’s a friend, family member, or even television character’s – version of the quintessential college life that you forget to live your own.
If you want to go to that random CMC party on a Thursday night, do it! But if you rather stay in, watch a Disney movie, and snack on some Trader Joe’s mini pretzels, that is okay too! And one of the most magical parts about college is that you’ll meet people who both compliment and challenge your comforts. Some of my favorite memories are the evenings spent curled up on bouches (bed-couches) with my friends on a Friday night crocheting and chatting about Keck lore. But, I am also grateful for the weekends my freshmen roommates and junior year suitemates encouraged me to get out of bed and go dancing with them at Mudd.
You are allowed to have days when you destress by yourself, blast boygenius, and drink warm tea. And you are allowed to have bursts of energy where all you want is to surround yourself with people and talk until the sun goes down. You are allowed to experience peaks and valleys – both are equally rewarding in their own way. You need both to paint a holistic landscape. College can be a lot at times; physically, emotionally, and mentally. Crying and smiling are not mutually exclusive. Valleys need water to strengthen the roots of their flowers and those flowers need the sun to nourish their core. Give yourself permission to go through the process of finding out what makes you feel fulfilled in the moment. And remember that it is okay if what that looks like varies from day to day.
Change is inevitable. I know how cliche that sounds, but there is nothing that rings truer as I enter my senior year. The person you are today will not be the person you are when you move in for your final year. And that is really cool. Although this will look different for everyone, you are going to learn so many niche, complicated, and interesting things about yourself as you realize your passions and dislikes. Do your best to keep an open mind and bask in that change.
Everyone around you is going to go through their own metamorphosis. You are not alone in that journey. Sometimes change occurs when a random, impersonable building you couldn’t find becomes a sanctuary filled with people who you adore. And on other occasions, change is slowly realizing that you have limits and that establishing those boundaries is a sign of strength, not a weakness. The person you are right now and the person you will become are magnificent. And even if the process isn’t the prettiest at times, going through the process itself is beautiful.
Everything is a balancing act. That’s one of my advisor’s favorite reminders, and she’s right. Push yourself to knock on your neighbor’s door (especially when you need a praying mantis evacuated from your room). They may become one of the most important people in your life. But also learn how to cultivate places of comfort and familiarity. Sometimes all you need is your little sliver of alone time to re-energize and it is okay to have that even when you feel pressured to socialize. Try new subjects and clubs that pique your interests but enjoy diving headfirst into what you already know makes you feel alive. The scale may never meet equilibrium, but you don’t need perfect to find balance.
As you begin your first year, I want you to know that your peers are rooting for you. We want you to succeed, and I mean that. Don’t be scared to ask for directions, you’ll probably find things a lot faster if you do. You are capable of so many incredible things and if you do get lost, you have the power to create your own path to find your way home.
Photo Courtesy of Belén Yudess ’25
