Phoebe Schwab ’29
Copy Editor
Hear ye, Scrippsies! As the school year moves along, you may be faced with hardships – nay, travesties. The most troubling part of this is: who can you count on for wisdom? I, along with the rest of the staff here at The Scripps Voice, am here to guide you to the right answer: us! You may know me from my horoscopes, located all the way at the back of the paper. But fear not: we are moving on up in the world (or issue)!
The launch of The Scripps Voice advice column was, yes, spontaneous, but certainly well-loved. See, I love to meddle. And, while your submissions remain completely anonymous, I want to stay in the loop on troubles at Scripps, although I have enough of them myself.
Have my horoscopes proved themselves true to you in the past? Well then, clearly, our stars are aligned. Gain a more personal scope on your problems by submitting your questions or ailments. Although I must add, these submissions should be kept lighthearted and minor – if you need real help, go to your therapist or something. There’s only so much a newspaper can do.
If you are in need of guidance, but don’t know where to start, allow me to provide some inspiration:
Are you:
- Still in love with your ex of three years?
- Struggling to see the will to finish your chem major?
- Realizing that maybe your parents sucked?
- Realizing that your only purpose in life is partying?
- Trying to avoid the roommate that has had frat flu for the past two months?
- Believing in horoscopes a little too much?
- Sad?
These are all issues I have clearly never had. Besides maybe the last (on occasion). So, obviously, I am deeply and expansively qualified to talk you through it. There’s only so much your Scripps faculty advisor can do for you — come to your Scripps Voice life advisor instead. Ask away!
