Ask Lue: April 12, 2018


How can I make more friends besides the generic “join clubs!” advice? It seems like everyone already has their friend groups established and aren’t looking for new friends.

Hey Anonymous!
First of all, college can be a very lonely place, there are always people here who will want to make friends. But one of the simplest ways to get to know people is through class, especially if you’re taking 5C classes. Class projects, quick 5 min conversations before and after class starts, study groups, etc. You meet a lot of people in just one class- and oftentimes you’re bonding over the material. From there it’s just about asking to grab a meal or study together for a midterm. Otherwise going to events on campus (those long SAS emails have lotss of options), or my personal fav- get some sort of job on campus (get paid and make friends)!

Dear Lue, I had sex with a guy for the first time a few weeks ago. I hate to say “lost my virginity” because of how weighted the phrase is. I am a little older than most people, so I have had far too much time to think about it. I know the first day after I felt especially down and confused. I can’t seem to get this weight off my chest. Any advice for dealing with the emotional side of sex?

Dear Anonymous,
You’re right, sex is incredibly emotional, especially if it’s your first time experiencing this new type of vulnerability. There also exists such a prevalent emphasis on “losing your virginity” as a life-changing experience, when the reality is that you’re still you, you were you before, and you’re still you after. However, this can also lead to a wave of intense emotions and I would definitely recommend that you talk through these feelings in depth with someone you trust, a close friend or therapist. If you need resources for people to talk to (besides Monsour)- The Empower Center and Scripps Advocates are always helpful even if safety was not an issue, and my own office hours as a PHE in Tiernan are from 5:30-8:30 on Thursdays and 3-6 on Fridays if you wanted to stop by.

How do I shave down there for the first time? Without having itchiness or irritation? And on a budget?

Hey Anonymous!
I got you. So, start by getting a FRESH razor (the more blades the better) and either some sort of oil (some people swear by coconut oil and others love baby oil) or an unscented gentle cream/gel. You basically want some sort of lubrication (SO IMPORTANT) without disturbing the sensitive skin or getting an allergic reaction, so if your skin is particularly sensitive I would suggest testing a patch first. Once you get in the shower, don’t shave first thing- wait 5-10 min to let the follicles soften. Then, exfoliate the area *gently* with a loofah or something similar, and lather on your lubricant. Wet the razor and make long smooth strokes along the direction of the hair growth, rinsing the razor frequently. If you find that is not getting enough of the hair, you can try shaving in a sideways direction, towards your center, however be gentle as the more times you go over an area the more irritated it could become. Exfoliate gently again, pat dry, and then either apply something unscented like aloe vera or baby oil, or this super amazing budget friendly product called Tendskin (you can find it at any drugstore or on Amazon) which reduces ingrown hairs and bumps.


Luena Maillard is a sophomore who is passionate about holistic health and education. In high school, she was employed by Planned Parenthood as a Peer Health Educator to teach sex ed classes to high school health classes. She is currently working as a PHE here on campus, and you can find her during her office hours at Tiernan Field House for one-on-one conversations!

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