Kendall Lowery ’22
Food Columnist/Copy Editor
Despite the continual heat wave plaguing Claremont throughout two thirds of the year, ‘cuffing season’ doesn’t discriminate based on geography. So, if you’re searching for a romantic (and better yet, cost effective) location to test the 5C dating waters, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve taken the time to parse through the visual, aural and intangible characteristics of each of our seven dining halls in pursuit of a definitive, absolutely indisputable hierarchy of the dating dining locations that our schools have to offer. Without further ado, here are my findings:
Claremont McKenna
Collins
Despite Collins’ abundance of tables for two, its open floor plan, wall of windows and general sense of sterility combine for a less than perfect date location. Though there is something to be said for its central location and frequent berry offerings, the lack of compost bins in the dining hall also prohibits your ability to judge the quality of your date’s dish cleaning habits (it’s common knowledge that proper plate maintenance is directly correlated to one’s sexual prowess).
Harvey Mudd
Hoch-Shanahan
Though the Hoch possesses the same relatively open floor plan that doomed other locations, it still maintains a semblance of intimacy thanks to the presence of the cereal selection, waffle bar and trees that dot the floor of this dining hall. An abundance of natural lighting and the most intricate dish cleaning and sorting system of the 5Cs add to this venue’s viability; though it lacks a classic romantic aesthetic, the Hoch is the place to go for a mellow date with someone who you could potentially hold a conversation with.
Pitzer
McConnell
Though I’m a staunch believer that Pitzer possesses the best food at the 5Cs, McConnell’s utter lack of private tables and distracting noise levels result in a venue that lacks the intimacy that creates a superior date location. However, if you and your date can’t resist the pull of pasta night, make sure you stick to the same (ceaselessly long) lines, snag an outside table for a bit more privacy and grab some spa water for an extra touch of class.
Pomona
Frank
Frank’s relatively small size keeps the potential for losing your date to a minimum, and though its location is particularly inconvenient for any student living anywhere other than Deep South Pomona, that keeps the crowds and volume at a conversation-friendly level. Despite its tendency toward massive communal tables (I’m looking at you, giant booths), you can generally find a table for two or a corner if you possess a keen eye and some persistence. Head to this dining hall if you’re searching for a casual meal and if you’re able to muster enough energy to make the trek back up the hill.
Frary
Unless you manage to snag a two-seater on the edges of this dining hall, Frary’s communal seating, open floor plan and enormous mural of a naked Prometheus essentially negate any semblance of date-worthiness that may have been construed by its high ceilings and dramatic chandeliers. However, if you’re looking for a location that relieves some first-date pressure, the echo-prone acoustics of this dining hall are perfect for filling any awkward conversational lulls.
Oldenborg
Aside from Oldenborg’s infamous food and falling ceiling tiles, its policy prohibiting usage of the English language is the death knell of any sort of romantic venture. Unless you and your companion fluently speak the same foreign language or plan on spending a majority of your date staring deeply into each other’s eyes, Oldenborg is about as dismal as it gets when it comes to date venues.
Scripps
Malott
Aside from Malott’s haphazard lines, this dining hall may clinch the top spot in this evaluation. As long as you and your companion choose compatible line lengths (if one of you chooses the taco line while the other opts for soup, that date is a non-starter), Malott’s outdoor-eating policy means that the location possibilities are endless. From a romantic evening spent gazing at the mountains from the balcony outside of the Student Union, to a caffeination/study date in the Motley, to a turtle-watching session at Seal Court, you’ll have a hard time going wrong when choosing your date locale. I suppose what makes Malott my most date-worthy dining hall is the possibility of avoiding actually eating inside of a dining hall.
The Definitive, Absolutely Indisputable Hierarchy of Date-Worthy Dining Halls:
- Malott
- Frank
- Hoch-Shanahan
- McConnell
- Collins
- Frary
- Oldenborg
10/30, Volume XXIX, Issue 3
