Burrito Royale: Which Dining Hall Will Rise to the Top?


After months of consideration, I finally decided to tackle this imperative comparison. As I set out, countless worries plagued my psyche: would consumption of this significant number of burritos in such a short time period be nutritionally sound? Would I be able to pinpoint the infrequent days of burrito availability across the campuses? And, most importantly, how would I fairly assess these burritos despite a lack of standard composition? Ideally, I would evaluate the maximum number of burrito compositions at each dining hall, but, in the interest of preventing food waste and preserving my intestinal tract, I filled my burritos based off of what ingredient combinations staff deemed to be the most popular.
Both Collins and Oldenborg lack burritos, and thus, they are excluded from this review.

Harvey Mudd: Hoch Shanahan
Sunday Dinner
Composition: flour tortilla, pork chorizo beans, pork, cheese, mild salsa, guacamole, pico de gallo, mexican rice, sour cream.
This was the sole wet burrito of the bunch, and the usage of a knife and fork to deconstruct the burrito added a bit of memorable panache to the experience. However, though this burrito was quite enjoyable, it was somewhat one-note. The addition of both pork chorizo beans and pork filling overwhelmed the rest of the flavors present in the burrito, and despite their satisfying flavor and respectable meat quality, I wanted more variation out of this dish. This burrito earned a respectable 7/10.

Pitzer: McConnell
Tuesday dinner
Composition: beans, rice, beef, mild salsa, sour cream, cheese, guacamole, pico de gallo.
This burrito excelled in practically every conceivable category. It was satisfyingly compact and secure, with an excellent filling to tortilla ratio: I felt that I could bond with a small child over a game of catch with this burrito, and my meal would still be perfectly intact. This structural integrity was constant throughout my consumption of the wrap, and there was no filling spillage at any point. This may be chiefly attributed to its excellent tortilla integrity- after sitting on the plate for 5 minutes, the sauce still had not breached the resilient tortilla; yet it didn’t obstruct conveyance of the amalgamation of textures and flavors that awaited its consumer. Finally, the size of the meal rounded out its greatness: this was the only burrito that I was able to comfortably finish. As far as dining hall burritos go, this one earned a 10/10.

Pomona: Frank
Thursday dinner
Disclaimer: I’m unsure as to what their normal burrito system is, but by the time I entered into Frank, the burrito station was conducted as a DIY filling station. I was not responsible for wrapping my burrito, but my filling ratios may have compromised the integrity of Frank’s burrito evaluation. This may have also contributed to the folding of the burrito, which was somewhat less skillful than the structural perfection of Pitzer’s burrito.
Composition: refried beans, mexican rice, guacamole, chicken, red salsa, cheese, lettuce, pico de gallo. Yet again, this burrito left me wanting more. The tortilla itself was respectable but was slightly thinner than the Pitzer’s, and eventually gave way to a bean rupture. The chicken and beans could’ve used some salt and pepper, and for the most part, this burrito exhibited the homogeneity in texture and flavor that diminished my enjoyment of the Mudd burrito. Though the refried beans dominated a majority of the texture and flavor, the guacamole within the burrito may very well be the top guac I’ve tasted at the colleges. Hot tip: skip the Frank burrito and just grab some guacamole and chips. Burrito: 3/10 Guacamole: 10/10

Monday dinner
Composition: pico de gallo, sour cream, cheese, chicken, mexican rice, refried beans, salsa, lettuce.
I was initially apprehensive upon entering Frary, as Frank’s DIY burrito filling process had previously lead to some haphazard flavor representation. However, I was pleasantly surprised and reassured to find a total of 3 cooks assisting me in the creation of my burrito. It was stout, yet relatively secure (despite some liquid breaching the bottom of the tortilla), and the filling to tortilla ratio remained reliable throughout its consumption. Nevertheless, there was another abundance of refried beans in need of some salt, which obstructed the other flavors present in the burrito. The segmentation of the ingredients also contributed to its general homogeneity; this separation was exemplified by the lack of guacamole until halfway through the wrap. The tortilla was warm and comforting, yet its particular abundance slightly overwhelmed the rest of the burrito. I was content, but yet again, I desired more variation. Add hot sauce to this burrito to bring it from a 5 to a solid 7 out of 10.

Scripps: Malott
Thursday lunch
Composition: sour cream, guacamole, beef, chicken, salsa, cheese, refried beans, lettuce.
Once again, I found myself dreaming about the compact Pitzer burrito. This tortilla was bursting at the seams, and soon enough, the wrap’s filling to tortilla ratio went awry. The tortilla itself was not as thick as the Pitzer one, and its portions were not as compact and evenly dispersed. Each ingredient was well cooked, but it lacked a freshness that livens up the best of burritos. Additionally, there was a disappointing lack of bean variety: refried was the only option, which disappointed multiple students who had desired the classic black bean. This burrito is ample fuel, but ultimately, it’s nothing particularly notable, earning the rating of 4/10

The Hierarchy
1. Pitzer
2. Harvey Mudd
3. Frary

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