Pizza Pizza, Yum Yum?


Kendall Lowery ’22

If I were to choose one food as nourishment for the rest of my days on this Earth, it would be pizza. It incorporates all five food groups ( declares that tomatoes are scientifically a fruit; however, the Supreme Court classified tomatoes as vegetables within Nix v. Hedden (1893)- I move that they count for both food groups, but I digress). Additionally, it allows for endlessly delicious varieties, from Nutella berry dessert pizza to the ever-controversial pineapple pizza. Naturally, a comprehensive assessment of the Claremont pizza situation was already of utmost importance to me, and I have decided to continue to spread my food-findings to the greater Claremont community. Disclaimer: As a sauce/crust person, I obviously held a significant bias toward specific slices in this assessment- however, I was accompanied by several cheese people, and I incorporated their input into this report. I strictly limited my assessment to cheese pizza from each of the dining halls (no toppings, no flatbreads, etc.).

Claremont Mckenna
Collins provided a solid slice of laser tag cheese pizza at a 14-year-old’s birthday party. The crust didn’t just serve as a template but rounded out the flavor of the slice and possessed nice texture and height. The sauce worked well to balance the thickness of the crust. However, the lackluster nature of the cheese in comparison to the rest of the slice leaves something to be desired with this pie.

Harvey Mudd
This slice’s crust was fluffy and fresh, yet bland, only serving as a template for its elementary school cafeteria-esque sweet sauce. Though the cheese had a nice flavor, it was a bit burnt, and broke apart with each bite. Despite this description, Mudd’s pizza was not bad — it just lacked synthesis.

Once again, the fatal flaw of this slice was its lack of a homogenous blend. It maintained an excellent sauce to cheese ratio, however, its crust may as well have been a pita chip. Though each component was tasty, there was no personality to this pizza.

Say what you will about the lengthy trek to Frank, but its pizza has a good cheese pull. Then again, there’s not much sauce to compliment this cheese, and its white-bread crust is more of a template than another flavor, but if you’re a cheese person, this is the slice for you.

This slice mirrors classic summer camp sustenance. Its crust was bordering on flatbread height, and its cheese provided most of its crunch, but this pizza was made to feed the masses, and I can’t fault it for completing its job.

This freezer to table pizza is evocative of roller rink microwave fare. I first ran into trouble with the pizza’s stress-inducing storage — its rotating warmer kept moving as I tried to snatch the slice, and tongs were not provided so I was only left to imagine the countless unwashed hands that had grasped at the pies. The crust was impressively flat, crunchy, and flimsy, with cafereteria cheese that surpassed it in height. The ratio of each component of the pizza was promising, but its execution was haphazard.

Malott’s pizza maintained a refreshing variety of cheeses, and the sauce builds up nicely against a flavorful crust. This crust possessed notable height, but fell prey to a bit of flouriness when it wasn’t paired with the cheese and sauce. Though its cheese didn’t complement the crust as well as its sauce, this pizza was tasty and engaging. This is a sauce-lover’s slice.

My Top Three Places for a classic slice of cheese pizza

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